Sticks and Stones
By Josh Aterovis
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me...
How many of us have heard that idiom since we were toddlers? How many of us have chanted the words inside our heads while we were called names like faggot, dyke, or some other anti-gay slur? How many of us realized long ago that it's a big lie. The truth is names do hurt; and all too often, names can kill.
Last week, I ran a poll on my website asking how many of my readers have been the victim of a hate crime or known someone who was. Of the respondents, 8% said they had been victims and 28% said they knew someone who had. Combined, that's only 36%. And yet, I would be willing to bet that if I had asked how many had been called an anti-gay slur, the numbers would have been far higher. Folks, you don't have to end up bloody and bruised on the outside to have been the victim of a hate crime. Anti-gay harassment comes from hate and ignorance just as much as physical violence. Just because our laws refuse to acknowledge it, doesn’t make it any less true.
Studies show that 97% of public high school students report regularly hearing homophobic remarks. A typical high school student hears anti-gay slurs about 25 times a day. In a 14-city study of gay, lesbian, and bisexual youth, 80% reported verbal abuse, 44% reported threats of attack, 33% reported having objects thrown at them, and 30% reported being chased or followed. In a national survey, youth described being called lesbian or gay as the most deeply upsetting form of sexual harassment they experienced. I could go on and on with statistics alone, but I think you get the point. This is a national epidemic.
And it’s not just a problem in the classroom, it continues after school and into the boardroom. An award-winning insurance salesman, Dan Kovatch, is suing his former employer, California Casualty Management Company, after he was forced to quit because of his supervisors' homophobic behavior. After being moved to CCMC's San Diego office in 1993, Kovatch became the target of relentless anti-gay epithets and abuse, and was forced to take a leave of absence for harassment-related stress. Kovatch resigned when the company offered to remedy the harassment by transferring him to a lower position at less pay in another office. "Anti-gay discrimination at work is a serious problem, and employers must recognize that lesbians and gay men deserve fairness and respect just like non-gay workers,” says Jennifer C. Pizer of the Lambda Legal Defense.
While anti-gay name calling and discrimination is serious anywhere, it is especially so in our schools. Teens and children are particularly susceptible to hateful remarks and at a much higher risk. Studies on youth suicide consistently find that lesbian and gay youth are up to 7 times more likely to attempt suicide than other youth and may account for 30% of all completed suicides among teens. Service providers estimate that gay, lesbian and bisexual youth make up 20-40% of homeless youth in urban areas. Perhaps the worst part is, for the most part, the schools just don’t seem to care. Far too often, the administration and teachers turn a blind eye to this sort of harassment. “It's just the last acceptable prejudice. If a student called someone a 'nigger' or 'kike,' they'd be all over them. Teachers pretend they don't hear gay slurs,” said Bill Jacobs of PFLAG.
The school’s disregard for gay students can not be illustrated any clearer than in Bay County Florida’s School Board’s recent unanimous vote. On Tuesday of last week, all five Bay County School Board members denounced homosexuality, calling it "a sin" -- even though there was no GLBT issue on the agenda. The board also said it would oppose any curriculum that included gay and lesbian issues. And all this in response to publicity about the National Education Association's guidelines on gay and lesbian issues. The new NEA guidelines include a non-discrimination goal, which reads, "increasing respect, understanding, and sensitivity towards individuals and groups … including … gays, lesbians, and transgendered people and eliminating discrimination." Says Nadine Smith, the executive director of Equality Florida, a Tampa-based organization fighting for equality for Florida's GLBT community, “They just want to keep gays and lesbians unsafe and invisible. Gay and lesbian teachers and students hear this kind of ugliness in the hallways and in public every day.”
Just to drive the point home, here’s one last story, and this one doesn’t even involve any gay people. In Union Township, Ohio, a group of residents has convinced their county commissioners to change the name of their road to Green Apple Road. Why you ask? Because the name of their road was Gay Road. Wrote Sharon McKinney, one of 19 residents who signed a petition, "The repercussions of living on a road called 'Gay' are not pleasant. The snide remarks and thoughtless comments about one's address being 'Gay' are intolerable." Maybe she should try living as a gay person. McKinney and other residents say they are not making a statement against homosexuality. But gay rights activists say the residents' problem with the street name is telling. "Here are non-gay people who can't even take the harassment of living on a street called Gay, much less being gay," said Jim McCarthy of Dayton. "Wouldn't it be nice if the gay and lesbian community could simply petition to have themselves named the 'green apple community' and we could eliminate the harassment, intimidation, and hatred that we experience on a daily basis."
Yes, names can certainly hurt. Just ask any gay kid in public school...or any of the former residents of Gay Road in Union Township, Ohio.
PFLAG - Safe Schools Resources
PFLAG - School & Youth
GLSEN - Safe Schools Action Network
GLSEN - Safe Schools Resources
GLSEN News Article - Anti-gay Slurs Common in Schools
GLSEN News Article - Schools Fall Short in Awareness
One Parent's Story
© Josh Aterovis, All Rights Reserved
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Josh Aterovis is the author of the Killian Kendall Mystery Series as well as numerous columns and articles. He can be reached at Aterovis@comcast.net or http://www.joshaterovis.com
